Don't Be a Sheep

Baaaaaah. That’s what I hear coming from the mouths of most teenage mothers today. Baaaaah. They are sheep. They follow blindly what they are told with no research behind what they are doing.

You say, “My mom told me to do this,” or “My parents did this with me and I’m fine.”

You know what I hear?

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Are you really going to spend more time researching your new phone/car/computer/iPod than your own pregnancy? Your birth? How to raise your child? Are you really going to listen to everything your parents tell you to do with your child?

I’m pretty sure most teen mom’s parents said, “Don’t have sex.” Or at least they said, “Use protection.” But hey, guess what? Looks like you didn’t listen. But when baby comes and your mom says “You need to give that baby rice cereal at night so he’ll sleep longer.” Or when your grandma tells you, “Let the baby cry, it is good for the lungs. Don’t pick her up when she cries, she is manipulating you,” do you intend to let these things slide? Can you really sit there and listen to your baby scream for hours because they must learn how to sleep on your schedule, just because sweet old nana told you to?

NO!

A part of being a mother is sacrifice, and prioritizing baby in your life. Should you take care of your needs first and foremost? Of course.

Should you make your baby conform to your schedule for the sake of your conveince? Absolutely not. Babies have no concept of night and day, they don’t understand how manipulation works. All they know is how to cry to communicate.

Hungry? They cry. Wet? They cry. Cranky? They cry. In pain? They cry. Wanting to be held? They cry!

Babies want mom around. They want to suckle at her breast, they want to feel skin-to-skin contact, and they want to sleep near mom. You carried your child for 9 months, and now they are outside in this big cold world and they rely on you to make it safe.

The United States is obsessed with fostering independence. We separate mom and baby at night, either through using a crib or a completely separate room. We don’t encourage night-time cuddles or breastfeeding, or even tending to your child’s needs during the night because “they must learn or they never will”.

There are so many options and bits of advice that people will stand adamantly behind. To question the parenting techniques of your parents, to them, will feel like an attack on their abilities as parents. Remember, this is your child, not your mom’s or dad’s. You have a voice, and you can say “No, this is what I am going to do. Here is why.”

We live in the age of the internet, where information is at our fingertips. Maybe take a break from Facebook and Twitter, and spend some time looking into breastfeeding. Look into co-sleeping. Read some scientific studies about child-rearing, and learn about your life as a parent. Just because your mom/aunt/grandma/friend/random stranger says “This is how I did, you should to,” doesn’t mean you have to!

Break free from the flock. Don’t be a sheep. Make an informed decision.